THE relationship that didn't go as planned

Anyone else think you were going to be married young, with a family all before 30?

Anyone else have them blow up in your face? Ha

Well i’m here to tell you it will be okay- my story is something out of a lifetime movie and while i’ll have to tell you all that in another post… I want to give you a few suggestions for getting through what you that was THE plan.

The short story:

I married my high school sweetheart when I was 26 after dating for over 8 years. Unfortunately, we were divorced before we even hit the 1 year mark. This was all I had ever envisioned and here I was at 27 starting over…which now looking back as i’m 32 I realize just how young I was and how much I didn’t have figured out. While it wasn’t always the easiest, I am so thankful things happened the way it did... because it made me who I am and put me on the path I find myself on today. Now, one thing I want to call out here is that while i’m I am super happy, I’m not able to tell you that here I am married with children and living happily ever after...my dating life since has been almost non existent HA ….but my career and my personal growth has been amazing. So while I don’t have the answers to dating (but if you do- call me!) I do want to share a few tips that helped me get through this period of my life.

1. Have a person, and I mean like the Meredith/Yang kind of person. Someone who will hear you out day or night, allow you to talk in circles and just be by your side with no judgment. They are your calm in the storm and its a game changer to have.

2. Be gentle with yourself- you’re going to feel a lot of different things and they are all valid. But allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge those feelings… if you’re sad, be sad and welcome it. - but also acknowledge that you’re not going to stay in that place for too long- you have to pick yourself up and take back the control at some point.You decide when that is!

3. LET IT BE- I actually got this tattooed on my wrist during this time because I needed to see a reminder everyday. I found myself dwelling on a lot of things that I couldn’t change and it was making me feel crazy. Whenever you find yourself really stuck on something just say to yourself “let it be” because you’re not letting it go- it will be a part of you for a long time, if not forever… but if you can't change it- let it be what it is and keep moving forward.

4. Take time for you- I took a full year where I just tried to find myself again. I went to therapy (HIGHLY RECOMMEND) I tried new hobbies, & I spent time alone. This was honestly one of my favorite years- find you again, and I promise it will make a world of difference.

As you know, there is no perfect plan to recovering from a break up... we're all winging it.

But I promise, you got this girl!!