Stop Saying "I'm Sorry"

How many times have we all run into a meeting late or even dinner with our girlfriends and said “I’m so sorry I’m late” *handraise emoji* Me!!!

Typically we do this for one of two reasons- 1. we genuinely feel bad that we’re running late and others had to wait on us or 2. because we’re conditioned to think we need to apologize for being human. In that same respect of being conditioned, we sometimes even just use it as a filler without realizing we’re saying sorry- women specifically are more often guilty of this.

Well i’m here to explain why we need to stop saying this!

Think of it like this… if you’re running late to a meeting and you walk in and say “i’m sorry for being late” you’ve now reminded everyone in the room that you’re late and in turn potentially created a negative reaction to your being in the meeting and being late. People may now think “UGH she’s always late” or “ that's right, you Are late, how inconsiderate” Without intending to, we’ve invited everyone in the room to create an unfavorable reaction.

So how do we get away from this while still owning our lateness?

Instead of “I’m sorry” Try:

1. “Thank you for waiting”

2. “thank you for your patience”

3. Thank you for understanding”

By creating a more positive atmosphere from the start- you’re inviting others to feel kind and thoughtful, people may now think “oh its no problem, we all have those days” or “you’re so welcome”- this leaves people feeling like they did something kind for you and creates a positive reaction!

Now my final thought is that we should absolutely still say “i’m sorry” went completely warranted. If we have done something to warrant an apology, please do so- just don’t throw them around when you haven’t done anything wrong!

The plan- stop saying I’m sorry

The winging it- Find replacements that work for you and your situations, if nothing else, just become more away of how often you’re saying “I’m sorry” :)

For additional information about this topic, I suggest watching the following video.

https://youtu.be/unRDUhNTbsc

Key video take aways:

· Qualifying language is when a writer or speaker uses words that make a statement less or more certain.

· The most common forms of hedging involve tense and aspect, modal expressions including modal verbs and adverbs, vague language such as sort of and kind of, and some verbs.

· Simple word replacement can change the impact of our overall communication.

· These words or phrases minimize our thoughts & opinions.

Tips & Tricks:

· Start counting the number of times you apologize unnecessarily. Consciously reducing the number by saving your apologies for big time mistakes (and there aren’t many of those)

· When you do make a mistake worth apologizing for, do so only once, and move into problem-solving mode.

· Use the 5 second rule before replying/answering.

· Give your opinion in clear, certain terms.

· Objectively describe your achievements without using qualifiers. (avoid “it was only” “I just…” )

· Be especially mindful of your word choice when writing emails as they can be interpreted differently.